I met Joe at the Search & Social Spring Summit this past May in Tampa accidentally. I was dozing off in the tent during an afternoon of SEO speeches (they were engaging, but the Cuban buffet got the best of me), until Joe Hall hit the podium. The man has charisma. I mean, who gets up in front of a crowd of SEO junkies and swears and admits his speech sucks. Needless to say, he had the audience rolling.

And now that I know he shares our office’s love of the Red Bull (on any given afternoon, the bosses send us out for a bull-run), I see no reason why we don’t do a straight hire. We may not need another SEO specialist, of which Joe is, but he could double as a bull-runner and office comedian.

Please vote for Joe in your comments.

So a few weeks ago, I got a call from a little Spanish lady named Juanita at CHEAP. Apparently, I had won our office a party. Huh? I thought. I vaguely remember filling out a card for some kind of freebie on my last visit, but who am I to question free drinks and appetizers on South Howard?

After some rangling with the girls, we finally managed to free up our schedules and have the party. We invited some non-SEOtini peeps (notice the boys in the mix) and got our free drink-on last night. There was a catch, however. We arrived, happy and thirsty, only to be led to a tableless and chairless “party” room, where we were instructed to socialize with other “free office parties”. When I asked our ‘hostess with the mostest’ what was up, she carefully explained, “Well, um, these parties are technically your opportunity to “mix” and “mingle” with other offices. You know, drop each other business cards. That sort of thing.” I think, at that point, my mouth dropped. In my three confirmational conversations with Juanita, at no point was I told the party was standing-only with other offices, where CHEAP waitors would offer us white dinner rolls with strawberry butter to wash down our drinks and appetizers.

WTF.

But we’re a grateful bunch. Especially when free liquor is part of the equation. And, luckily for us, the other “free office parties” were more interested in playing pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey in the party room, so the lounge area quickly freed up and we sat our lazy a#$es down for cocktails and pizzettes and quit our complaining.

Overall, would I say the “free office party” was worth the marketing ploy? Why, yes, I would. Because it gave us a chance to bond CHEAPly and that was the point of it all, now wasn’t it?

Special thanks goes to my little lady Juanita for slipping me a gift card at the end of the night for being the “free office party” coordinator.

1. Each SEOtini girl was given their own private 400-square-foot Presidential suite at the Doubletree Hotel in Tampa.

Glicky napping in suite 417.

2. During the hours of 5 p.m. and 7 p.m., there was an open bar by the pool, at which point our bosses told us to double-fist and drink as much as possible to get our money’s worth.

Kim happily obeying the bosses order.

3. At all times, we were instructed to keep the guests *happy* by smiling and making intelligent convasotions. We’re a social bunch, so this came naturally.

Joanna doing what she does best.

4. We received 3-hour afternoon breaks, in which we could roam around and do whatever the h*#$ we wanted.

Here I am, shopping at Target.

5. While the speeches were actually going on, we could either pay attention, or do our office work via text messaging. Fair enough.

Thao, Selena, and Kim, obviously hard at work.

6. And, during each speech, we could poke fun at our bosses while they sat on stage without them knowing it.

Loren, doubly intrigued during Ms. Katz' cat speech.

7. I think our last, and favorite part of all, was the fact that even though we were attending a two-day, two-night professional Summit, our bosses remained relaxed and jovial throughout it all, choosing to focus on business and not the SEOtini troublemakers.

Dave, clearly enjoying himself.

Rumor has it the Summit will be happening in Los Angeles this summer, and if it’s anything like this one was, we highly recommend you go.

Oh, and a special mention goes out to the catering services during the Search & Social Summit. All guests received complimentary breakfast, lunch, and dinner, plus freshly baked Doubletree Hotel cookies each night.

Depending upon how you look at it, the mug situation at Search & Social can either be seen as a good thing or a bad thing. If you ask the Boss (Dave), he’ll say it’s disgusting and somewhat insulting, considering he provided us with the mugs and the endless coffee supply. If you ask the Keeper (Kim), she’ll tell you to wash the damn mug you polluted or keep it on your desk. If you ask me, I say 1) it’s kind of gross, but 2) maybe it’s a *sign* that we are raging feminists who are tired of washing dishes and cleaning up, in which case we should install a dishwasher and be done with it. In the mean time, I’ll keep drinking out of my personal mug and admiring the view from the top-of-the-micro.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!!!

-Thao

The responses varied, but the general consensus here was watching TV.

So, the infamous day rolls around and we SEOtini girls carried about our office life as usual. In fact, I don’t recall anyone from Search and Social mentioning the “holiday” except Mr. Kasteler via Facebook calling out the “glorious day.”

Therefore, the day was very much so out-of-sight and out-of-mind until later in the evening when we received an e-mail from the Utah office.

SUBJECT: happy 420

CONTENT:

*DISCLAIMER: The owners and employees of Search and Social do not condone smoking illegal substances, as this would be a violation of Act 4.20 in the National Rule Book. The smoke you see in this picture is from tobacco… maybe.

Stay tuned for more…

The decision-making lunch & congratulatory flowers.

To say the least, Andrea’s decision has been receiving some pushback. Here is a snippet from a g-chat yesterday with the boss.

Andrea: I would like to offer my stand-up comedy services for the Summit.

Boss: No.

Andrea: I’ll let you think it through for a few days. Let me know by Monday.

Boss: I’ll let you know now…NO.

Andrea: You’re a cruel man.

At that, Glicky and I have decided to take matters into our own hands. I have offered my services as Andrea’s official manager and agent and we are pleased to announce the official Pantyhose Glick 2010 Tour. The opening act will roll out at Side Splitters in Tampa off of Dale Mabry, not too far from the office.

I hope you will all support Glicky’s side pursuit of happiness with me. Details on showtimes and tickets to come.

The Whiz at work.

Not only did the Whiz fix the sound on my computer this week (see photo above), but she also mended my broken heart this morning with a hand-delivered Vente Iced Green Tea with honey to make up for Tuesday’s conundrum…

My makeup or breakup Starbucks tea.

Selly gets the golden ribbon of honor this week for her charitable efforts. There is something to be said about a girl with an honest conscience (and fear of having her coffee spiked as a payback).

A special shout-out goes to the rest of the crew for dealing with a certain someone’s PMS this week.

That's me with a broken heart.

I have a slight crack in my heart. It hurts. The office got Starbucks while I was out to lunch and didn’t text me for my order. So everyone is getting java’d up and I am in an afternoon slump, slightly heartbroken. I will survive, I promise. I just wanted to get it out there. I feel better already. Meanwhile, Glicky is making fun of me by making crying noises. I can’t wait to get the next Starbucks order. Glicky will be drinking carrot juice and Selly will be drinking decaf. Oh, and Dave will be drinking Moonshine.